7 No-Pain Tips For Anal Sex Beginners (Who Are A Little Scared)

Anal sex can be intimidating at first, but you can make it easier.

Anal sex can be such a fun, exciting and super-pleasurable experience. However, lots of people get it so wrong that anal sex has a bad name. Some people try to avoid trying anal sex experience altogether.

That’s why I’ve put together this guide on how to prepare for anal sex to teach you exactly how to get ready for and have incredibly pleasurable anal sex with your man. First, I’m going to cover the ground rules of preparing for anal sex, which you absolutely can’t avoid, like staying clean and safe. Then, I’m going to discuss how to actually make it happen. Let’s get to it.

The reason so many people never want to try anal sex with their partner, or anal sex with a pregnant partner, is that they think it will be messy, unsexy or even unsafe. Follow these guidelines during your anal sex preparation and you will never have to worry about it being messy or unsexy.

1. First, make sure you are clean.

This first part is crucial. You need to start by making sure to use the bathroom. In the days leading up to anal sex, it’s a good idea to avoid Mexican food or any food that will give you a loose stool. I know it’s obvious, but some people totally forget about this. After you clean yourself on the inside, it’s time to clean your outside, too. This is usually a case of just having a shower.

2. Use the proper lubricant.

Some people think that just because you can’t get pregnant from anal sex means you don’t need a condom. If you are not both 100 percent monogamous or have been tested, you need to wear a condom. Catching an STI from anal sex is very possible. This is especially true if it’s the receiving partner’s first time, due to very small skin tears in the anus and rectum.

Choosing the right condom and lubricant is also crucial when learning how to prepare for anal sex. If you are using a latex rubber condom, then you must NOT use an oil-based lubricant. Oils will degrade the latex condom, making it highly likely that it will tear, something you absolutely don’t want to happen. So remember to choose a water-based lube when using latex condoms.

3. Don’t do anything you feel forced into.

One of the biggest problems when preparing for anal sex is that guys can develop an obsession with it. This is an ongoing issue in the gay community. It could be because he’s curious, he wants to tell his friends “I’ve had anal sex,” or it could be any other reason.

That’s perfectly fine, but you absolutely should never feel forced to have anal sex with anyone. Just because your man is insisting on it doesn’t mean that you have to do it with him. If you really don’t want to try it, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.

4. Learn to relax your sphincter muscle.

At the entrance of your anus is your anal sphincter. This muscle plays a crucial role in how much you enjoy anal sex with your man. This muscle isn’t like others. It can’t relax very quickly; instead, it takes quite a while to fully relax, but once it does, it can stretch quite a bit. When it’s tight, it’s very tight. So during your anal sex prep, you need to set aside some time to allow your sphincter to relax comfortably.

If your man just tries to enter you without allowing you to first relax, then you’re going to have a very painful time. A good way to start getting it to relax is to first slip a lubed finger in there. Then, hold it in place for a few minutes and just relax. You’ll notice after a while that your sphincter just naturally loosens up.

As it does, try slipping in a second lubed finger. Again, wait a few minutes and you’ll notice your sphincter muscle starting to relax further. Now you don’t have to use your fingers and can use clean butt plugs or dildos instead. The key is to allow your sphincter to relax enough so you can fit your man’s penis comfortably in you.

5. And then take a little time to prepare yourself mentally.

Obviously, anal sex is quite different to vaginal sex. The biggest difference is how it feels for both of you. For the receiver, it can be quite unpleasant at first, especially if your partner doesn’t understand how your anatomy works. That’s why finding time to relax beforehand is important.

6. Ease into it.

You should both start in the doggy style position, with your man upright and still while you are on all fours. This way you will have full control of how fast and deep you take him. Remember: He absolutely must stay still at first. As you loosen up and become more comfortable, you can start allowing him to thrust into you. Just make sure he doesn’t get too caught up and forget that you need to control the pace.

John Kempf Administrator

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