statistically most people will
experience some sort of discomfort or
pain during sex at one point or another
in their lives
i’m dr. lindsey doe and this is a
sexplanations of why dyspareunia from
dis meaning difficult and paranhos
meaning lying beside is the clinical
term for pain during intercourse I
experienced severe dyspareunia just
after college that felt like having sex
with the jagged sword lit on fire I went
to at least a dozen healthcare
professionals looking for answers but no
one knew why sex had become so and
manageable for me even though this
episode may seem like a WebMD page or
wiki’s summary of genital torture as I
go through more than 40 possible causes
of sexual stress it’s important for me
to make something that a path Lindsay
would have appreciated and hopefully
those of you struggling now can find
useful this is my best effort at a
complete list of why sex hurts across
all bodies and behaviors starting with
one of the most common causes too much
friction which could be from changes in
hormones like menopause use of
medications such as antidepressants
sedatives and antihistamines
chemotherapy because it can dry out
mucous membranes including the vagina
circumcision which removes the very
tissue designed to reduce friction and
insufficient stimulation there’s not
enough lubrication other causes of pain
injury or trauma to the genitals
that’s botched circumcisions abortions
genital affirmation surgeries botched
cosmetic surgeries and episiotomies for
childbirth
all of these can cause temporary
long-term pain with intercourse
Peyronie’s disease when I’ve talked
about at length is usually the result of
severe or repeat trauma that leads to
scarring in the penis and pain during
sex
vaginismus is clenching of the vagina
usually in response to trauma that makes
penetration difficult or impossible one
woman describes it to author alexis
looser rate that is like you’re trying
to pound your fist against the palm of
your hand it’s just not going in there’s
absolutely no give and as for the pain
it’s a combination of the fear of how
much it could hurt and a burning
sensation fortunately there’s a
treatment for most of these vaginally
Genesis where the vagina isn’t fully
developed hurts and imperfect hymens
also make penetration difficult and
painful II balanitis are inflammation of
the penis from poor hygiene excessive
hygiene and infection or irritation
doesn’t feel good during sex neither
does a Bartha lens abscess when one or
both Barthel ends glands on either side
of the vaginal opening become blocked
and sore Hydra seals are fluid buildups
in the scrotum that ache a study by Babu
and colleagues
found out that 87% of patients with this
condition reported pain in their
scrotums during intercourse each this is
different than testicular torsion where
cords connected to the testes get
twisted and cut off blood flow but it’s
still a sharp sharp pain in the scrotum
priapism is an erection that won’t
subside for hours if left untreated it
can lead to impotence not being able to
get erections other sexual difficulties
or infections so get that checked out
endometriosis is a disorder where the
lining of the uterus the endometrium
grows where it’s not supposed to in and
on the fallopian tubes and ovaries
wonder what that feels like
a study by Ballard and colleagues of
people with endometriosis got the
following descriptions throbbing nine
dragging pain to the legs shooting
rectal pain in a sense that their
insides are being pulled down other
Agony’s include tears and the ligaments
that hold the uterus in place cysts and
the ovaries cysts on the cervix fibroids
which are gross than the uterine walls
and hemorrhoids pissed off veins in the
rectum frenulum bereaved is one I just
learned about basically the frenulum
where the foreskin was or is attached to
the glans of the penis is more taut than
usual so it can tear over and over and
over again during sex I’ve talked in
past episodes about something similar
called phimosis where the whole foreskin
of a penis or the clitoris can’t move
fluidly back and forth because it’s too
tight or it’s at he’s – the glans some
people aren’t bothered by this during
sex others definitely are irritable
bowel syndrome is another cause of pain
during intercourse
especially with penetration of the
vagina or anus because pressure on the
intestines can agitate IBS this actually
goes for constipation – a big ol fecal
congestion can compress the whole area
the vagina intestines and rectum so that
some forms of sex do not feel good pain
for pleasure that’s consensual and
intentional great suffering though No
thank you and all of these sound awful
physically and emotionally they’re
confusing and disheartening really
overgrown yeast is super common but I’m
still not okay with it it’s itchy and
it’s irritating during sex same with
infections in the urinary tract which
are especially painful after ejaculation
and prostatitis or swelling in the
prostate that affects half of males can
hurt for a whole day after doing it
there are so many afflictions pain from
an allergy or sensitivity to an
ingredient in your birth control lube or
partner semen pain from infections
passed through sex such as chlamydia
gonorrhea HIV herpes HPV and syphilis
some of which lead to pelvic
inflammatory disease or
another big cause of pain during sex
this one is from an infection in the
fallopian tubes ovaries and/or uterus
the infection creates an inflammation
which can cause scarring that can block
sperm which can make it harder to get
pregnant and it hurts like collision
dyspareunia which is another type of
deep pelvic pain except with this one
something is whacking the cervix causing
the uterus to collide with the tailbone
and it’s nerve endings sexual
hypersensitivity refers to pain when
genitals are touched because they’re so
sensitive dermatitis encompasses a lot
of the skin problems like eczema that
get triggered by contacts such as sexual
behavior of bodies rubbing on each other
well vadhana an umbrella term for pain
in the vulva so your clitoris labia
vestibule doesn’t always have a clear
cause but it takes many forms
all of these are versions of vulva pain
associated with sex finally though there
are many many disorders and ways that
the body signals something is wrong
there’s the psychological beast anxiety
depression stress fear PTSD abuse
dysphoria dysmorphia and distrust mind
is capable of expressing repressed
emotions through medical symptoms such
as nausea headaches and pain during sex
Freud called it somatization I’ve heard
it referred to as body or genital
armoring it’s the minds way of
protecting the body by creating a
physical deterrent toward things that
are harmful in my case this was the
cause the pain was my vagina’s way of
communicating and once I heard it sex
became exponentially comfortable listen
to the pain your body is lining because
you need to change something or get help
go to the doctor the clinic the
emergency department seek out online
forums do your own research keep logs of
what’s happening and how you feel get a
third fourth and fifth opinion and stay
curious I’ve made a playlist of
treatment suggestions here and have link
to it in the description one is about
choosing a professional to guide you
through the process there’s an episode
on regaining a healthy sex life another
on overcoming sexual and Justices like
pain and a play-by-play instruction on
how to use the three-dimensional model
of sexual health to sort through some of
the culprits on your own thanks for
supporting sexplanations on the other
channels that are part of the complexly
team if you check out youtube.com slash
scishow they have a video all about why
we experience pain and how to kill it
how to have better sex sex ed for
everyone
[Music]
exercise it’s important to be in good
physical condition to last longer and
enjoy your encounters much more
you
[Music]
[Applause]
no stress or worries try to keep her
relaxed life keeping some time for
yourself
[Music]
dedicate some time to erotism set the
mood decorating your room with dim
lights romantic music and a nice smell
[Music]
foreplay is important
starting with penetration directly is
not advisable
[Music]
tip it’s very important to get to know
your body to have better sex
[Music]
[Applause]
dare to try new things
the world of slacks is broad and to
enjoy it as much as you can it’s
important to open your mind don’t be shy
to have amazing sex
you must leave prejudice aside and open
up to sensuality
[Music]
[Music]
step one for Polly for Polly is meant to
get your partner sexually aroused
kissing licking sucking and touching the
erogenous zones the lips the breasts and
nipples the neck the stomach the vagina
the feet and toes
and the buttocks take your time and
listen to her needs
step 2
oral sex locate the clitoris
now did your face into her crotch try
not to vomit lick suck and kiss the
clitoris insert your fingers into the
vagina canal with two fingers gently rub
the top part of the vagina wall this is
called the g-spot step 3
intercourse she is now ready for
intercourse your penis should be in an
erect state just relax and think of
something nasty always practice safe sex
place a condom over your erect penis get
into position gently insert your penis
into her vagina
make sure it isn’t in the anus for the
vagina thrusts your penis in and out of
her vagina change positions if needed
after a few minutes you are ready to
ejaculate note after a few minutes she
probably has not organs step full
ejaculating
choose a good spot to ejaculate on to
her discuss this with your partner
beforehand and make sure she is cool
with this
condom grab your penis firmly and Stroke
it until you ejaculate
[Music]
Step five
cleaning up
